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laukusu's journal
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Dear Bulletin Board
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You heard it, someone fucked this story, literally. They went through and replaced all the nouns verbs, pronouns, adverbs, and adjectives with THE F BOMB! It was to be the funniest story ever until some jerk fucked it all up. Once upon a fuck, fuck was a fucking fuck. Fuck fucked fucks and fucked them fucky. But one fuck, fuckedy fucked. Fuck, Fuck, and, Fuck Fucked to the fuckiest fucks of fuck. Because fuck fucked fuck, fuck fuck fuck all the way to fuck. (Have you ever noticed when you say a word enough times, it sounds like a really stupid word? Fuck is starting to sound more like chunky shit) "Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuck." "Fuck fuck?" "Fuck." "Fuck!" "Fuck fucked fucking fuck fuckhxc." "O_f" So fuck fucked to fuck all on fuck fucking fuck Originally this storry was about two men arguing over a twinky, saving a damsel from a dragon, and then seeling her for twinkies...I think, but like I said, half the words got replaced. I'm completely serious, I wrote the story and then changed the words.
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It is being time for one other pain-like tinny bull! Correct is your state of being!!! Excitement and orgasms fill the lump on your shoulders. Permit the person in this case being one's self to commence. Once up on a time, there was a girl named. "Jessica," he regurgitated, "Now you have to name the girl you like." Laukusu delivered an interogative to Hitsu, "Why are we up on this time anyway? What if we fall?" "Nonsense!" Hitsu (missing a tag!) "...nonsense?" "Nonsense!" "Oh well why didn't you say so before," Laukusu's sarcasm was thick enough to chew on like a fat man's immunity gut. "Why are we naming women we like?" "Because, we can't get any women so we sit around and talk about them to reassure ourselves of our sexuality." "O_O" "Yeah," just then *POW!* Hitsu's sexuality took a turn for the worst...or better depending on your view. "Wow Lauk, I had not previously concluded how indubiously intaking you are." "...what?" "GIMME BABIES!" Hitsu lunged at the unsuspecting and now mentally traumatized Laukusu. Using his unobjectively rapid body functions, Laukusu took a nap! *KER-TOPPLY-PAIN* Hitsu had dove over Laukusu's now low altituded body and crashed vagina first (wtf?) into a pile of disinfectant! "No! I'm alergic to disinfectant!" Hitsu, being allergic to everything, had developed allergies to his allergies. But that would cause a continuing chain of sneezy death, so his reactive allergies actually cancelled out his initial ones. "...Oh, I'm okay," but only as he said that, a piano shaped block of titanium elephants (I can't really picture that but it was a good way to fit three painfully heavy objects into the same sentece) fell on top of Hitsu's noggin! *Da da da daaaaa daaaaaa daaaaaa daa da daaaaaaa!* Laukusu pulled his victory pose because he is bamazing and defeated the flamingly evil Hitsu...who was his friend about 2 and a half minutes ago. The most bamazing part is that he was still sleeping. Cause he's mako powered. Cause he's actually Cloud/Squall in disguise...with Riku DNA. Guess what I should be doing? I'm all alone in this bay doing the entire thing myself, and instead of working I'm writing this. You know why? Cause I PWND the whole bay already, cause I'm 133+ and Bamazing. HaXX0rZ puppy! Anyway so Hitsu, now Mr. cherry chunk pudding, was enraged by something. Bad plot filler! Where did all that energy come from?? It doesn't matter -Vile. Then suddeny a pore righter kaim? Wit deh pwr tu yuse encorrekt puncshuashun: AhftrE aye shotr taem j00r 8ran3s wihl bea n0+hngi 5hoart od mush" ZOKMGF?? *Harpoon* Suddenly a roleplaying harpoon destroyed the not-so-leet writer. Laukusu decided this was a bad day. It would have been a little better except he had a dream about a rubix cube with cancer trying to rape him. (Stepping out of the BoP for a minute, I actually had a dream about a rubix cube with cancer trying to rape me, I don't understand it and I remember very little but if you wanna quote me on it, drop me a line and I'll explain whatever I can remember) THE END (and Hitsu was still mushed) |
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Matt- ok..so like my keyboard is acting weird, and sometimes it wont write certain letters or numbers, other times i push a letter it closes out ther window...its weird...i think its haunted. Cloud- Kick it in the shin then use a limit break. But whatever you do dont tell it about #35. That shit is whack j0. I swear sometimes I just don't know about you you crazy baboon. Matt- what the fuck ar eyou babbeling about? your hungry right? or do you need your shots? 13 is an unlucky number....12 and 14 should be guilty by association. "hey twelve....were you hangin around 13?" hell no man, i was with 11....go talk to 14 about that shit..." hey 14, were you with 13?" umm..no i was makin some cookies...aw shit...yeah i was. Cloud- Aha but 8 and 7 being chums and all that results in 8's fame. It's like hanging out in a casino with an actor. Church is like chicken soup for damned sons of bitches' souls. 0xide wafers are ugly. My foot hurts and I'll be damned if they make me join the sled team again. Why is it that cats are so much like felines? gasp! cordless pancakes and the madness never ends$ Thats no exclaimation mark thats my aunty's gumbo. frogs fear favourite french fried twinkies! Twinkines don't ryhme with texas because texas has 4 legs while arizona only has 16. Grah my head hurts like Bamazing! OK I had to get that off my chest. |
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One day doctor Medussa Oblongated, or Med for short, was. Because he was thinking, therefore he was. I'm write jou're rawng. Continuing: suddenly Assistant Sukroo Uhp, or Uhp for short, screaming "oops! oops! oops! oops!" "Calm down son I'm sure whatever your blunder it may be fixed yet!" "Not that sir, an oop army!" "Oops?" "Oops!" "Oops?" "OOPS!" "Oh Oops! Oops..." But it was worse than they could have imagined! The entire Oop homeworld had come to earth's doorstep in nothing short of an accident prone invasion! Look I made a female! O8>= See theres a head (O) something in the midsection (8) lower portion (>) and legs (=). But nows not the time for that! Oopy madness! Quick as a flash, Med took a photo of Uhp for no apparent reason! bUT THE oOPS CAME IN ANYWAY AND SABOTAGED THE CAPS LOCK KEY!!! Med, using qick thinking and a schtick of butter, counter struck the Oop what sabbed the Cap button j0! But all was not joyous, because if you prounounce joyous in 133+ it becomes yoyous, and that's hispanic! So mexican stormtroopers came out of nowhere shooting and burritoing. How one burritos no one will know, save for pope and his candy land nazis. Away. Yes(insert comma here) that was a one word sentence (period) When white wookies walk where women wear wool why would we wipe worthless waste within we're washclothes. I said we're because our doesn't start with dubbelj00. I want juice. Oops the oops! Digresion diverted God's attention because the narrator of this piece is almighty! Med waved coleslaw at Emperor Oopadoop. Suddenly, in a shocking reaction, Emperor Doop called out Uhp's name in terror. "Gasp without an exclaimation mark." cried Uhp even though he wasn't actually crying. "Why does that Doopylumpcus know my name?!?!" "Because Uhp, you are my bruddah" Oopydoop (inconsistency!) spouted like a whale. You know whales dont just spout like idiots, they're blowing out the water that got in to catch a breather. "What?" "It's true! Whales are amazing aren't they? But I am your bruddah! Search your feelings Uhp, you know it to be true. That and your name is a vowel away from sounding like ours." "Oop...Uhp...OOP...UHP!!! NO THATS 2 VOWELS, there's 2 O's in oop!" "Gasp he's right! Curse you Uhp, one day we will return!" And so thanks to Med's butter, the single span of earth's rotation had been liberated, or Med's house. CAPS! The top row of the keyboard has more vowels than any other row. And the bottom is a loser so it gets none. Invincible shield of fatty invulnerability! Jabba the hut is +3h pwn fa++y m/ ..5+3h! But his p00r children! Laukusu is copywritten so back off youz bitches! 4! Look i'm random *looks around* Home, End, Page Down key! I'm funny! I'm so random it hurts! *looks some more* EB02 WIPE DOWN and loading stockers! Grorgh my brain is exploding in WMD randomy cheese monky (not monkey monk-y as in monk-like) ninja squirrel madness! God I just labeled everything you "random" people think is funny. Rolling On Teh Floor Laughing COPTER! What the hell does w00+ mean anyway? Why are LEDs so damn annoying? WORK! I'M leaving... -Cloud |
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Seeing as how every manner of funny thing has already been used, the bulletins of pain now evolve to... REPETETIVE MODE!!! NOTHING NOBODY SOMEONE, random objects and incomprehensive babble, stories with no plot or developement!!! Madness all around! +3h FÜ/..//|/j ../../0r<| 5+0Rj O nea ran doMda yin the mi dd leo F now here3 bab yGee ser anac ross te hro ad. ali enhanc ed be andi parsen alspre adMa nessA cros sth elaN d. i fyu ocan re adT hisy o uHa venol ife. bo nnI efle df orh e rli fe. te hra gin gco wobli tera ted al li nit Spat h! b utth ema d ne S son ly star te daft e rall the Hone ynu t cher rIo 'sd efe aT. xandar rows of t hekey p admak elI fee aS i er. the nt hing sgo treal lyb adad voCa teso fmo mss yndi cateca mew it hcl ubsan dto R ches. fo ofyn umki nswA she rd ogo fte r ro r. Ze bra sofd oo mis co mint omYho use! I would have wrote more but my brain hurts. I will give massive props to anyone who can figure out the secret message in this. It's simple but humans are +3h 5+00p3|>. |
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So once upon a time two guys went into the cafe to get some peach crisp. THE END! Now on to the sequel: Peach Crisp 2! The peach crisp evolved into a Crispeachon! I CHOOSE YOU! It started attacking the people in the cafe who ruthlessly devoured the innocent peach crisp slices. "Those were our home slices" Crispeachon said. "Aw shit B!" G said. "Whassup G?" B said. "Dat dere maneatin peach dealio sgoin all wack yo!" G exclaimed. "What the hell did you just say? Remember I'm white G" B said. "What deh hell was wrong wit our muddas j0?" the leet gangsta man asked. "Nevermind that my sickly spoken sidekick! We've got a crisp to catch!" B valiantly declared. "Rowr" Crispeachon violently protruded. "Ev`rone heah's gun get whacked j0!" G vomitted. Suddenly B transformed into Bamazing Man!!! With the power of one and a half pre adulescent teens, he can move a basketball and afro pick in a single bound, and leap a faster speeding bullet. (WTF?) "I'm the white one I dont need a basketball, afro pick or bullets." B growled, "I didn't growl either," vanilla complained, "STFU!!!" With that, G turned into Grorgh! With the ability to talk faster and more annoying than anyone else, "j0" And formed... < font size=16>< font colour=red>< b>The Myspace HTML Coders!!!< /font>< /b> Crispeachon turned, flabergasted by the appearance of the two "heroes." "Rowr," it furiously, enragedly, wrathfully, appallingly, adjectively, vomit encouragingly, blasted. "GASP!" the two declared. "Wat we gun do j0? We gun dah? Oh man we gun dah!!" the cowardice exerted. (heh exerted) "Not today!" valiant vanilla voiced. Suddenly in a flash of some crazy bright white object, bad stuff happened!!! Crispeachon sneezed *sneeze* The role- playing rambunctious ravenous reptilian dessert monster leaped into the air! *leap* "Holy appetizers Bamazing Man!" Robi- er Grorgh exclaimed. "I know!" "What?" "The role-playing rambunctious ravenous reptilian dessert monster leaped into the air!" "You copied and pasted that j0." "No I didn't" *Ker-pain!* And the two were never heard of again. THE END Disclaimer: No black jokes were made in the duration of this script, G is Swedish. |
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Peter Shepard, a co-worker of mine, and I had this conversation. I don't know what it means. Peter- Therefore, you say, I am totally in control. I meerly am slightly uncertain of just exactly what. But I know it's purple and I'd recognize it if it ever bites my hand against the otters dam obstructionistic attitude. When in the course of inhumane events does the delete button delete the square in front of it? No. it deletes a character. Elbows and whipped cream don't go together very well, unless you add a dash of spaghetto. Free assocation is only 57 cents a word. Why am I armed with a SCINTILLATING STAFF OF ULTIMATE DISPAIR weilding a KEEN-EDGED +12 LONGSWORD OF GLOBAL THERMONUCLEAR DESTRUCTION? Whew, I'm pleased I had that enamled. Would you mind taking the pretty paseley butterfly off the taste of wombat stew is only going to prolong those preprogrammed random synaptic associations with orange butter seasioning lightly sprinkled under the alternate reality show from which it came? Thanks. Three colours receded reluctantly across the ruins of what once was more than it has ever been between. Easily chanting dissonantly with expanding embrature the lung collapsed immediatly prior to actually generating auditorially detected atonal harmonic molecular occilations in the fortyseven to onehundredseventyfourth zenon frequencies. The noise would have been aromatic, but the trees had other plans, fading from this wet, dew-soaked hillside untill the only remaining evidence of their passing was rejected on the coffee that remained in the sludge of the automat. Never remind the weary brainstem of it's former attachments to anthing remotely sensible. Squall- Dissapating H keys are the wonder science calls raviolis. If yodelling DIDN'T exist then why wouldn't alcoholics annonymous be saturated with sterling silver sets of superstitious sandwiches? Amazed at the awesome alliteration? Irony can kill 7 year olds but not the blue button on an X-box. If 2x3=6 yet 2+3=5, then why if 2x2=4 would 2+2=4 as well? Digression is a slow form of mental degredation, hence it is an outrage when one falls off subject in the presence of a cranially inclined individual. They find it offesive and mocking. However children with ADD have the right due to their situation. That makes too little sense for smelling. For smelling is one of the senses. If the first three dimensions are measured in length why would the fourth be measured in seconds? Scientists are trying to destroy us all with their ill use of "logic." But why oh why does the government use green on TV for brainwashing, if this should happen to be the choice of age challenge then who would atone for the haneous acts of treason against the behemoth known as pooh? Once more the subject is debatebly arguable. Repetitive redundancies return to recycle and reuse the 2nd time around once again. Florida? I hear no Florida in rasberry cream cheese! So that is why flatulence is illegal. Peter- Properly augmented dementia frequently manifests states of hyper realistic halucination wherein the subject (you) believes you are actually reading this. (Silly, aye?) Barring any other oxymoronic conundrums we can synthesize a conclusion based on nothing in particular and anything at all but most assuridly under protest and obfucatious objection.That conclusion, regardless of the text, context, content, colour, karma and perspective will invariably be frought with qweezies. Squall- Your point has been noted, but was my present audience informed of the belated borgouis housing set upon his humble abode? Sureal forest backdrops illuminate the set conjunctioning the protagonist to his antagonist. Once this crossroad in the deviously assembled plot have been structured the two shall indubiously asess their director. Acting is now past tense, as the exchange of verbal substance has passed unto an alternative matter of communication. Delinquent members of company authority demand eradication of lesser and disfunctional components of the corporations characteristics. Delicacy roams freely upon the brow of well versed females. Could have been for if not why else then wouldn't its whereabouts in question who or what DID what why and when? Viciousness incarnates the lesser of a pair of technicalities placed into habitation , in relativity, a curse so to speak, donned by the blue haven known only as home to so many. If pondered on intricatly this deduction only protrudes a rather painful self affliction, damnation, and accusation of which I would gladly accept on behalf of the afore mentioned collective. |
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